Media and Misconceptions

Nowadays, I enjoy playing video games and watching good TV shows more than I ever have, even more than reading books. I’ve always liked those things, but never as much as I do now. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m wasting my time, and part of me answers, “Of course you are.” But when I think about it, the reasons I enjoy video games and certain TV shows are much the same as the reasons I used to read fiction voraciously. I like to study things. I like watching storylines develop, observing how characters interact with each other, seeing conflict arise. When I’m watching TV or playing my games, my mind is active, constantly thinking about what I’m seeing; I don’t like to zone out. I come away still thinking about whatever story I’ve seen, just as though I had read about it in a book.

So why does it seem like I’ve become a lazy, technologically dependant bum?

I think the answer lies in what I and the rest of our society have been told ever since video games were invented and television became so ingrained in our culture: “Too much TV and video games rots your brain. Reading is better for you.” Until now, I’ve always taken that statement as absolute truth. After all, when I see people around my own age who fail to clearly distinguish the media from real life, I understand why many people carry a negative view of these things. For those who allow it, it does rot their brains. It teaches them to stop thinking for themselves, to have every detail of a story thrown at them, or even worse- no storyline at all. If they let it. But books can do that as well, can’t they? There are plenty of brainless romance novels out there and forgettable, throwaway adventure novels with shallow plotlines and two-dimensional characters. But I would most likely receive a far different response from people if I told them I had spent hours watching TV or playing video games than if I told them I had spent hours reading a book. The first might alarm them or give them a less than positive opinion about the way I choose to spend my time, and the second might make them think about how wonderful it is to see a teenager today who still enjoys reading.

And here is my point: if taken with the same attitude and attention to detail as a serious reader would have for a good book, television shows and video games can have the same qualities. The human eye can take in more detail in a few seconds than pages and pages of writing could describe, so in the visual sense at least, there is more information being presented to the viewer through the TV than through the pages of a book. A well done show or game can portray intricate plot details or complicated relationships just as well as a book, and with the special effects that are available now, it can make it look so visually appealing—and sometimes so real—that even a person who rarely takes time to imagine much of anything might begin to wonder what it would be like to be a part of the story. So you might see how I, a person with a constantly active imagination, enjoy being able to physically see and hear stories that I love and that sometimes make me wish I had a part in them. Some people might argue that having the plot visually presented to the viewer leaves nothing to the imagination, but I thoroughly disagree. Being able to see the main storyline frees the viewer to wonder about what went on between each commercial break, episode, or level. From what I’ve observed, it seems like most people do not bother, but the opportunity is there and is easier to find than in books.

Another thing I have always loved about television shows, movies, and video games is the music. In some cases, the music can make or break the story it was composed to compliment. There have been several movies especially recently—the new Star Trek movie, for example—that are excellent stories with music that is forgettable and fails to add much of anything to the presentation. But I own many soundtracks of movies that accomplished their goal to use score that greatly enhances the story told. I listen to them frequently; some are even my favorite CDs in my entire music library.

As we move into another era of technological advances, I can hardly wait for the next development. Storytelling has been a crucial part of humanity since the beginning and has been changed forever by our technology. With the resources available to us now, we are able to not only see stories unfold before our eyes, but now we are able to interact with them through video games and virtual reality. The next step will likely be more interactive and just as controversial. You can be sure no one is looking forward to whatever comes next more than I.

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No-Knowing Woes

Anybody who knows me very well knows how much I struggle with not knowing my future. I want to know why God, with his knowledge of everything that is to come, will not show me precisely what it is He wants me to do with my life. People keep telling me to wait on Him, and most say that they didn’t know what they wanted to do when they were my age, or even when they were out of college- well-meaning, I know, but not exactly encouraging.

Telling me not to worry might work with other things, but not for this. It’s not finals for a class, or the decision of what college to attend, or even a test that will affect my academic records for the rest of my life. This concerns my entire life. Knowing what I was meant to do would do a lot of things for me: give me time to prepare, stop me from wondering what I should be doing, give me a specific purpose, etc. But how, I wonder, am I supposed to know my purpose if I don’t even know myself? There are things I still can’t figure out about myself, no matter how much effort I put into trying. So how am I to make that leap of faith without even knowing where I’m leaping from?

This whole Christianity thing is hard. Incredibly hard. Only recently have I been thinking about it, and, to borrow a phrase from Dave, making my faith my own. There are the things I have always believed, since I was a very little girl, that are now so ingrained in me that it would be impossible now for me to disbelieve them: God is real; Jesus lived life on earth, died at humanity’s very own hands, and resurrected and returned to heaven; the Bible is our link to God; the church is a living, active body with a specific mission to save as many as possible. I’m sure I’ve missed something—I’m never perfect—but surely you get the idea. And then there are the other things that I have so much trouble doing, like trusting in God no matter what, doing daily reading, and getting over the fact that our relationship is not tangible.

Somehow it all comes back to me not having enough faith. I’m too impatient, and I have a hard time believing that God will show me much of anything, including revelations about my future. But there’s really nothing I can do about it except read my Bible, write it out like I’m doing now, and ask Him about it. Whether or not He chooses to answer is His business, I suppose.

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TV

You know, I just like TV. I never used to enjoy watching it, but then I discovered shows like NCIS, Star Trek, and Battlestar Galactica, shows that are more about people in a lot of ways than they are about their plotlines. I’ve started watching quite a few different shows recently, and I felt guilty about it for a while until I realized that I watch television for the same reason I read books: to study the characters and the plot. When I watch TV, my mind isn’t turned off. It’s usually active, and I’m analyzing the entire scene, trying to catch every little detail, every expression on the characters’ faces, every bit of hidden humor or irony. And I’ve discovered recently that my mind tends to process this information like I’m reading a book; I usually end up with little sentences floating in my head describing my favorite moments from a particular episode.

I know I probably sound like a junkie, but I’m really not. Even though I’ve come to love watching television, like I said, I love it for the same reasons I love movies and books. It’s just another outlet to express creativity, and one I’ve learned to enjoy quite a bit.

In fact, I think it would be fun to take a screenwriting class; how cool would it be to be one of the writers for some of these shows? I love writing, but I’ve never been much good at creating my own characters or settings. I prefer to borrow other peoples’ worlds and think of stories that go inside them, and that’s sort of what a screenwriter does, isn’t it, writing plotlines based on an established universe and set of characters?

It would be neat. Maybe I should look more into that. I’ve been exploring my options for the future lately, so I’ll just add that one to the list.

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Flood of Words

I started doing something last night that I haven’t done in a long, long time: exercising. I used to play the workout mode on DDR in Hawaii, but ever since we came back to the mainland I’ve lost my resolve. And it doesn’t help that the floor in the basement –where my video games are- is covered in squishy carpet. So it’s been many, many months since I’ve really done any intentional physical activity. Why the change, you might ask? (Or you might not, but I’ll tell you anyway.)

Mom and I drove up to visit the Bristows yesterday. It was a fun day- we ate lunch with Kim and Megan at a really good Mexican restaurant, did a little shopping, and chatted a bit until Megan had to go to work in the evening. And I got some of the driving hours I need to get my license. While we were there, Megan and I talked classes, and she told me she was doing the ROTC program. I’ve been toying with the idea of being in the military for a little while- only half seriously, of course. I just want to explore all my options. And then there’s the fact that I can’t imagine not being allowed on military bases and not being around military families. I always wondered what it would be like to be in the Navy. I love ships and sailing, and I doubt, if I had a job on a ship, that I would be sent to Iraq or Afghanistan. And I’ve never really had a problem with authority or anything like that; I actually like the idea of the hierarchy in the military- saluting people, having other people salute me. It just sounds cool.

If you’re reading this and wondering if you’ve somehow gotten the wrong blog, don’t worry. Like I said, I’m only half serious. I think most of it comes from the romantic side of me that wants to have adventures, see the world, and do something different from the rest of my family. I just don’t want to miss out on something I might be able to do and enjoy, you know?

Anyway, there’s all that to say that, after talking with Megan, I was inspired to do something about the bits of me that are chunkier than I’d prefer. And I found out that I actually like exercising. I used Dad’s elliptical machine last night for a while. I popped in my noise-canceling headphones and really surprised myself by having a good time. So I did it again tonight, except on the treadmill. I discovered that using the other one two days in a row is a bad idea- sore muscles and all that. After only about ten minutes, I quit walking/jogging on the treadmill, but I still felt like I hadn’t done enough, so I went to our VHS stash and dug out, of all things, an old Tae-Bo workout video.

Turns out, Tae-Bo is actually kind of fun, once you get past the “I-feel-so-very-stupid-doing-this” stage. As it also turns out, I am not nearly coordinated enough to do some of the things on the video. I kind of made up my own thing in a few parts, but it was good exercise and good fun. It’s just one of those things I’d rather not have another human ever see me doing.

I can’t help but wonder how long this is going to last. Hopefully, I’ll make a habit out of it and really lose a bit of extra chunk.

Now, on a completely different note, I have something else to say. I’ve discovered a new favorite thing to obsess over: Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. Directed by Joss Whedon (one of my favorite directors ever), it’s a 45-minute movie released exclusively to the web. I kept hearing about it in different places since a few months ago, and I had been meaning to check it out, but I never quite got around to it (if I had had any idea that it was directed by Joss Whedon, I would have watched it right away). Tara demanded that I watch it when I talked to her about a week ago, so I did. We usually have the same taste in movies (and just about everything else, for that matter). I expected a silly musical comedy about a bumbling villain. What I watched was quite different.

The plot follows an aspiring supervillain—Dr. Horrible, of course—and his awkward alter ego, Billy, as he tries to get into the highly esteemed Evil League of Evil. Along the way, he is foiled several times by his arch-nemesis, the self-centered hero Captain Hammer, and distracted by the gentle, sweet Penny, his crush at the coin wash. It even sounds silly, and it is at times, but mostly the show is a very dark comedy/tragedy. Oh, and did I mention it’s a musical? The songs are catchy and clever, and have been stuck in my head ever since I watched it for the first time. Without them, the movie would be nothing.

What I like most about Dr. Horrible is the dark irony that pervades the story, sometimes in places I didn’t catch the first time through. Everything about it is just so horribly ironic, from the fact that the villain is in love with the biggest humanitarian in LA to the way you find yourself rooting for Dr. Horrible the entire time, and hating the ‘hero’ who tries to save the world from him. This is the sort of thing that I’ve come to really, really like. Why, I’m not entirely certain, but I think it has to do with the satirist in me that sees the ridiculous side of life and appreciates art that points it out. I don’t know. In any case, you’ll probably hear me singing Dr. Horrible songs for a long time.

And here is my segue into my last topic. Tomorrow, I’m going to a science museum in upstate PA with the Gifts. Since it’s Presidents’ Day, there’s free admission and a free IMAX movie. It’ll be a lot of fun- I love those people, and the museum is one of my favorites. So I suppose I should probably stop my raging flood of words and get some sleep.

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18

I’ve opened a window to write a new post several times since my last entry, but each time I’ve ended up closing it again with the realization that I have nothing interesting to say. The only thing that has changed this time is the fact that I am a legal adult now; I just turned 18.

And I’m really not excited at all. I know this sounds incredibly apathetic, but I just don’t care.

It’s funny how, when you’re a kid, you tend to assume a lot about being 18. I’ve been going to school with Mom a couple of days a week, and I went last Monday (my birthday). She does this thing every Monday called a “check-in circle” where they go around and each of the kids says something good and/or bad about their weekend. So naturally, Mom took the opportunity to tell them all it was my birthday. And in every class, one or two of them asked, “You’re 18- do you have a car?” And each time I just laughed at them and shook my head. Yeah, I’d thought that too when I was little, but when my sisters turned 18 and didn’t get a car, I learned better. Then, when Tara got her Grand Am in her senior year of college, I thought for sure you got a car when you graduated college. And when Melissa graduated and remained car-less, I threw that theory out, too. You get a car when you need one. Those kids will learn that someday, too.

Only a few years ago, there were a lot of things I thought I would do before my 18th birthday that I didn’t, and a lot that I never thought I would and I ended up doing.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from my life so far, it’s to stop making predictions. They almost never turn out right in the end, and there are just some things that can’t be anticipated. So I’ll just take the surprises in stride and expect anything. That’s life, right?

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Project 365

Just finished getting all my photos in order- finally! I changed the name from Pic-A-Day to Project 365, made sure there is a photo for every day so far, and put said photos in the proper collection and set.

Please take a look and maybe comment; don’t let all my hard work be in vain!

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Hymns

Lately, I’ve been playing the piano quite a bit, mostly out of the hymnal- after all, I need to get my hymn fix somewhere, now that I’m going to the praise and worship service at Blue Rock (but that’s a story for another day, or maybe no day at all). You know, there’s just something about hymns that no praise song can mimic.

I have a specific set of hymns I play over and over again, mostly so that I can get them right. They’re all my favorites in one way or another, and just for the sake of it, I’ll list them here:

  • The Solid Rock
  • Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy
  • What Wondrous Love Is This
  • How Firm a Foundation
  • My Jesus, I Love Thee
  • O Sing a Song of Bethlehem
  • When I Can Read My Title Clear
  • Take My Life and Let It Be (Consecrated, Lord to Thee)

I’ve only just learned the majority of these in Indy, but each one goes with specific memories. For instance, when I hear the third verse of “When I Can Read My Title Clear”, I always hear Bethany singing it solo, since that’s the way we did it at WP. And when I think about “O Sing a Song of Bethlehem”, I think about Kaylin and Zach and singing it with them.

And then after I’m done with my little traipse down memory lane, I actually stop and think about the words. And these are some of my favorite parts:

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righeousness- I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.

Come ye sinners, poor and needy, weak and wounded, sick and sore. Jesus ready stands to save you, full of mercy, love, and power. Come ye weary and heavy laded, lost and ruined by the fall. If you tarry ’til you’re better, you will never come at all. I will arise and go to Jesus; He will embrace me in His arms. In the arms of my dear Savior, oh, there are ten thousand charms.

Fear not, I am with thee, o be not dismayed; for I am thy God, and will still give thee aid. I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

O sing a song of Nazareth, of sunny days of joy, o sing of fragrant flowers’ breath and of the sinless Boy. For now the flowers of Nazareth in every heart may grow. Now spreads the fame of His dear name on all the winds that blow. O sing a song of Galilee, of lake and woods and hill, of Him who walked upon the sea and bade the waves be still. For though like waves on Galilee, dark seas of trouble roll. When faith has heard the Master’s word, falls peace upon the soul.

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine. For Thee all the follies of sin I resign. My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou; if ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

When I can read my title clear to mansions in the skies, I’ll bid farewell to every fear and wipe my weeping eyes. Should earth against my soul engage and fiery darts be hurled, then I can smile at Satan’s rage and face a frowning world. Let cares like a wild deluge come and storms of sorrow fall- may I but safely reach my home, my God, my heaven my all.

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee. Take my moments and my days, let them flow with ceaseless praise. Let them flow with ceaseless praise.

…Amen.

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Pic-A-Day

I’ve decided to do my pic-a-day project entirely from Flickr instead of blogging them here. The process takes far too long, and I don’t take photos off my memory card every day, so I would have to do several entries at once. And that’s just annoying.

So if you’d like to keep up with my pics-a-day, they’ll be posted on my Flickr account semi-daily. Hopefully, this less obnoxious approach will encourage me to keep going this year.

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Imagination

Imagination is one of God’s greatest gifts to humans. Without it, we would never have been able to create medicine or mathematics, art or architecture, language or literature. The human imagination fuels our dreams of a better world; it allows us to express our feelings in meaningful ways to one another. Even the most practical, least creative people still fantasize about something. For His own reason, God put this innate ability to see more in life than only our senses can detect. This ability -this imagination- inspires all we do.

I have always had a very vivid imagination. At times, I have been tempted to call it overdeveloped; for me, an average car ride with the right music playing can become a wildly dramatic chase across dazzlingly beautiful mountains. This propensity to make something more out of a typical event has been with me ever since early childhood.When I was six, my daddy made me a two-story doll house. It was beautiful, with four rooms, a balcony, working doors, wallpaper, built-in lamps (which I promptly detached before realizing they were not supposed to be removable) and a slanted roof that came down to the balcony in a way that was exactly right for my characters to climb. For years, I spent many a happy hour playing out dramatic stories with my dolls. Unlike most little girls, mine hardly ever involved anything resembling normal life. No, I preferred my characters to perform daring feats, such as leaping from the top of the house to the ground and walking away unharmed. Many of my stories had a villain, who would chase the heroine all around the house and would usually end up on the top of the roof, cornered, until one of her friends subdued the enemy or until she was forced to jump down and catch herself on the windowsill, swinging neatly back inside of her home.

That same way of imagining things is still with me, even though I am almost an adult now. I still enjoy observing what’s happening around me and imagining how it could be more dramatic and exciting- especially when I am bored. Anything is fair game.

Although, sometimes even I can’t imagine an odder situation. It’s true what they say about life: Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

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A Conspicuous Lack of Resolutions

It seems I’m a few days late for my now annual New Year’s blog entry. I briefly considered simply adjusting the time on the post before realizing that I just don’t care that much, and chances are, you don’t either.

I’m having a lot of trouble writing this. That familiar little black cursor in Microsoft Word has been blinking at me for upwards of ten minutes at the end of the last sentence while I’ve been reading over my last two New Year posts (for ideas, mostly, but partly because I was curious to see how I viewed life then). I just don’t know how to describe this year, but I suppose I can start by saying this: I am not the same person I was at the beginning of 2008. There were so many things that happened last year that changed who I am, what I know, and how I approach life in general.

Each semester -and I am thinking of my life as divided into semesters, even after only one year of community college classes- had its own novelty, its own special joys and frustrations. In the spring, I took college classes for the first time, it was my last year of quizzing, and I reconnected with old friends. In the summer, I had much different experiences at Rhodes Grove Camp than the previous summer. In the fall, I lived with my wonderful Aukercouple, took more classes, got my first real job, and learned what it’s like to live in a city.

Turns out I’m something of a cynic, nowadays. After spending time in the city, a hub of humanity, I’ve come to the conclusion that people in general are brainless- or at least they make very stupid decisions if left to their own devices. I’ve discovered many things about humans that I just don’t understand; we hold doors open for people who are walking behind us and wish good days on each other frequently, but we lie to, steal from, and look down upon each other every day. People get stuck making bad decisions and never change, even when those decisions are hurting the people they love. And I can’t do anything about it… any of it. I’ve learned what it’s like to want so badly to make a difference in someone’s life and then end up being completely helpless.

But on the plus side, I’ve had so many good experiences this year that it would take far longer than I’m willing to spend on the computer to list them all. I will list as many as I can think of right now, though: Singing in a real choir, living with two of my favorite people in the world, making and deepening friendships, learning more about my God and my faith, learning more about family and myself, forming my own opinions, participating in quiz team, winning the MVQ award, learning to play the piano better, finding new music to appreciate, learning to keep myself better informed about the world around me, gaining independence, becoming a better photographer, becoming a better writer, being a community college student, learning to drive, looking forward to college, being more active, discovering fun new TV shows to watch with friends and family, working at a new job, learning to make amazing smoothies, and blogging regularly.

All in all, I’d say 2008 couldn’t have been better. Even if I had the opportunity to try it again, to start back at January 1, 2008, I would have it happen exactly the way it has.

Now I’ve come back to Pennsylvania for the spring and summer of 2008, and I find myself asking one question over and over again: Now what?

I’m taking one college class, taking piano lessons, and maybe getting a job (if I can find one where I won’t see a hundred people I know every day)… but that’s it. My life is no longer the busy, crazy, exciting roller coaster ride it was just a few years or even a few months ago. I’m suddenly back to my normal life in my hometown of Podunk, Pennsylvania.

For once, I’ve met a year that completely defies prediction. What will I be doing in a month or so? I think I have a good idea, but hopefully I’m wrong, hopefully I’ll find something more interesting to do. And college… I haven’t even touched that subject yet. I have yet to choose a college, so I don’t even know where I’ll be this fall, either.

2009 is a big fat question mark, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know how it could possibly be better than last year, but I wouldn’t be too surprised if it turned out to be even more amazing.

Here’s hoping that you, Reader, have a happy 2009!

May the start and the finish

And all things between

Make this year a happy one!

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